Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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