Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
