In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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