stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
