she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize