that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
