You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
