i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
