hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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