3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
operation harelip BJ is a go
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize