i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
