I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
