If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He passed out mid-signature
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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