god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize