They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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