i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
