I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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