I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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