My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
