To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
