We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
40s are totally the cure
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
