i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
