it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
