We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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