He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
