he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
