And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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