do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize