I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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