We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
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But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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