we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
