I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
