Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
wow bdsm is so cute
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
