A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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