my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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