fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
