So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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