Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
