yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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