i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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