why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
