Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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