We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
