New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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