I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
