I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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