as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
