Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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