It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
