you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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