no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize