i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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