Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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