sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
