I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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