Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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