You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Let's paint friendship bongs
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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