I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
