ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
