Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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