I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
