Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize