hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
