I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
