You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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