Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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