We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
