I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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