They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
