Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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