i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
